With compliments, the keys are sincerity and originality.
By calling her hot/pretty/sexy/etc, she’ll likely think you see her as nothing more than a sex object. In fact, she’s probably heard these “compliments” a million times, and wishes people would comment on something else.
Woodrow Wyatt once said, “a man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears”. He’s right.
To evoke a response from a woman, a compliment must be deeper. She has to feel the compliment.
For example…
You say: “You are beautiful”.
She thinks: “Great, you’re the fifth guy to tell me that today. It’s nice to hear but is that all you’ve got?”
Her reaction: A simple shrug and a smile, meaning these words have no emotional impact.
Instead, try this: “You are beautiful, but I think your real beauty shows when you speak”. This statement shows a woman you see past her physical beauty.
Music to a Woman’s Ears:
- Pay attention to detail. If a woman makes the effort to dress up for you, your compliment will make her feel like it was justified. Compliment her dress or hair (bonus points if you notice a new haircut).
- Appreciation goes a long way. Appreciate and acknowledge when she goes out of her way for the small things (“thanks for grabbing the takeout tonight, you’re so sweet”).
- Insecurity and jealousy are known to ruin a relationship. It’s important to express what she means to you and where she stands in your life. Tell her why she is different from the other girls. “I really feel like I can open up to you, you’re such a great listener” or “your intelligence is why you keep me interested, I have to work to keep up with your wit”.
- Get naughty. This is strictly for the guys who have already won the heart of their special girl. Send her a text in the morning saying, “I can’t wait to see you tonight”. She won’t be able to get you off her mind.
Contrary to popular belief, women aren’t that complicated. As cliché as some of these statements seem, they do work if used correctly and said with feeling.
Keep it simple and tell her upfront. She will appreciate your honesty and courage.
Written for CAVE by Anita Lal
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